all the starshello, my name is rachel and i'm lost.
i'm fighting for a lost cause, for what i don't understand, striving for a success that leads nowhere, pushing through each day only for the nights when i remember how to breathe. i'm struggling to sleep, but dying to escape. i create universes in my head in which everything is okay, and i am not afraid and my hands don't shake and other people are the ones with problems -
but i'm slowly realising that everyone has problems.
i bleed words that mean nothing, and spill colours when there are no words. i have a thousand reasons to be happy, but don't understand one of them. i have a thousand people to trust, but hurt all of them. i drink when i'm alone because blocking out reality seems easier than accepting it. i am always the strong one - a fiery ball of passion, filled with every form of fear, doubt and regret in the world. i am the one everyone leans on, i am the strong shouldered, head high, don't give a fuck girl - and i am everythin